Smiling is the new practiced indifference.

Yesterday was my last day of work...sort of. I'll be back in 3 weeks to assist with the black tie fundraising event. That's not official just yet, but it feels better to say "See you later" than to have dramatic hugs and tearful goodbyes. I'm really bad with the goodbyes.

So, I'm unemployed for the next 6 days! Sweet! I'm gonna smoke doobies and watch the Real World all day!

The last job I left was the spring of 2005, a job that I worked at for a few months, then left to move to Massachusetts. When I left that job, they gave me a gift card to Target, a going away party at the local watering hole, and lots of debaucherous memories. You know what my most recent job gave me? A card that most of the staff couldn't be bothered to sign. You can't even sign the freaking card? No cake. No hugs. No "We'll miss you"s. And definitely no Target gift cards. Now I'm not saying a person should get a gift basket full of fabulous prizes when they leave their job, but could you at least sign the damn card?

NON-SEQUITER

Hey, do you guys remember that Chipmunks movie where they have a balloon race around the world and its boys vs. girls and they have to get the diamond dolls? Yeah, I just remembered how much more I like that movie than Return to Oz, the creepiest creep fest of movie ever.





NON-SEQUITER

Walking through Brooklyn on Monday, kids that look like this:


Kept looking deeply into my eyes and smiling. First of all, I thought all these 2 cool 4 school jerks were genetic mutants who were not capable of smiling. Smiling is the new practiced indifference, everybody. You heard it here first.

BRING IT BACK
If I had to hang out with those hipster jerks or the weirdos from Return to Oz, I would choose Return to Oz. What about you: Return to Oz creeps or hipster a-holes?



WHO WANTS TO HELP ME PACK? C'mon, I know you do.