"and after all, you're my wonderwall."

oddly enough, we walked into a bar and the guy on stage was singing and strumming, "i said maaaaaaaaaybe, you're gonna be the one that saaaaaaaaves me...."

do you want to know why i am so obsessed with time travel? because i want to travel five years into the future and i want promises kept.

jenny, jenny, why so sad? because confusion never hurt so much.

sitting on the hotel bed with my hands placed gingerly on my bent, bare knees. i am looking at you and wondering how we ever arrived at such a strange place. i want to believe that you are telling the truth. but the fact that we are in this situation in this context tells me that honesty is not the highest priority.

so i follow what i told myself from the start...don't do this. karma will bite you in the ass on this one. i've been on the other side of this and it humiliating. so why do i feel so hurt right now?

damned if i do, damned if i don't. keep my head held high and maintain a little self respect.

espionage.

i have been subconciously sabatoging my own relationships in the last six months. because i have been lying to myself.

i am a hypocrite. i am a hypocrite who needs to stop lying to herself.

i am not sure how to fix this problem. but i want and need to fix this problem. because we all deserve* more happiness in our lives.

*deserve is not the word i am looking for, but its the first that comes to mind.

cold nose.

i've been thinking about getting rid of my ipod and buying another. gals don't wear an engagement ring after the engagement has been called off.

and neither do i.

it is approaching 10pm, by the time i get home midnight will be lurking. i promised myself i would go out and be social tonight but that was twelve hours ago before i worked without breaks before i drank on the job before the cold night air bit my legs.

i am in serious need of some legwarmers.