And really, isn't this oddly cute:
I don't know who the artist is, so I can't give credit, sadly!
Monday, August 20, 2007
For Maura.
And really, isn't this oddly cute:
I don't know who the artist is, so I can't give credit, sadly!
Crisitunity.
Episode: "Fear Of Flying" (12/18/94)
Context: Homer's response when Lisa informs him that the Chinese use "the same word for 'crisis' as they do for 'opportunity.'"
Real-life uses: As an irrationally exuberant response to any impending crummy situation.
And now....a story for you:
On Friday, I was on my way out the door to meet Adam at the movies. We were going to see the Simpsons, appropriately enough, which was hilarious and I would give it eight thumbs up. Alternately, on a scale of dinosaurs, I would rate it a pterodactyl. Before leaving my house, I poured myself and Adam each our own travel mug of Bison Grass vodka with apple juice and a sprinkle of cinnamon.
Now you might be saying to yourself, "Jen, isn't that what alcoholics do- carry their drinks around with them? I've seen this on Lifetime movies and very special episodes of sitcoms before." And to you I say, "Yes, some alcoholics do carry their flasks of alcohol with them. Some people who just like to drink do that." Especially ones who don't drive. And c'mon, they don't sell beer at the movies. And if they did, it would be a beer-like liquid and overpriced.
It was raining Friday, so I had an umbrella in addition to my two travel mugs: my new 75th Anniversary Jacob's Pillow mug and the mug I purchased during the "rest stop" portion of my amazing bus trip to DC a few weeks ago.
Its like this, except mine is plastic and has a lid for traveling (in)conveinence.
I'm holding the umbrella over my head with one hand and have a travel mug in my other hand. But where to put the second travel mug? Well, like all of the ladies here in New York and Hollywood starlets, I have a bag that could fit a unicorn or a dwarf-sized hobo inside. I have a lot of important junk I have to carry around with me: Blackberry, three kinds of lip goo (including the aforementioned American Girl Mango Tango), two pens, one Sharpie (for drunken fun), cigarette case (incidentally which, does not hold cigarettes but my id, Metrocard, and college id in cases of "with valid student ID"), the latest book I'm reading (Them by Francine du Plessix Gray), digital camera, iPod, a recent crumpled fortune I got from Chinese takeout (You will inherit a gold mine in Africa. [What?]), and hand sanitizer, of course. I needed an extra place to put this mug and I take assesment of my bag and think, "I can wedge this mug in the end if I arrange everything right. The lid is secure." And so I follow this plan of action.
And let me tell you: I made it approximately 4 steps before spilling half that mug of vodka all over myself and the entire contents of my bag, including my Blackberry.
Beloved Blackberry, giver of emails, schedules, and internet access, flickered and faded into its death about 10 hours later.
RIP, Blackberry 8700. November 2006 - August 2007.
To confirm that Blackberry was really dead, I went to the AT&T, formerly Cingular store, in Union Square. The helpful man looked at it and said, "Did it get wet?" To which I responded, "Well, I mean, it was raining last night. Actually, it drowned in vodka. [sad, shameful face]" He confirmed there was little hope for rescue, so it was then that I had to consider my options and quickly realized, BUY A NEW PHONE, because I'm not Hermione Granger and I can't conjure cell phones. Furthermore, if I WAS Hermione Granger, I wouldn't need a cell phone, I could just send my Patronus all over the land to send my messages.
Miss Granger, if you're nasty.
Truthfully, I really loved the idea of the Blackberry, but it felt too adult- too business suit- too much guy with shooter fingers.
Put a shirt on!
I took this CRISITUNITY! and realized that if I had to buy a new cell phone, I should go with something that was ME. I wanted less Blackberry, more phone. I wanted less business suit, more I'm creative person. But what phone could possibly fulfill all of my hopes, dreams, and desires without leaving me feeling dirty in the morning?
That's how I ended up with an iPhone. And also how I became Tom Cruise in Minority Report.
Its definitely the touch screen. Or the fact that I call it "my iPod Phone" like my granny would. Or its tiny size. Or its ability to summon unicorns. Or how it says, "I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do," like HAL 9000. Actually, that last part is a little weird, but hey! Its the future and we're all going to start using hoverboards and drive flying cars soon!
Except me. I don't drive. But I'll get my iPhone to drive for me.
Context: Homer's response when Lisa informs him that the Chinese use "the same word for 'crisis' as they do for 'opportunity.'"
Real-life uses: As an irrationally exuberant response to any impending crummy situation.
And now....a story for you:
On Friday, I was on my way out the door to meet Adam at the movies. We were going to see the Simpsons, appropriately enough, which was hilarious and I would give it eight thumbs up. Alternately, on a scale of dinosaurs, I would rate it a pterodactyl. Before leaving my house, I poured myself and Adam each our own travel mug of Bison Grass vodka with apple juice and a sprinkle of cinnamon.
Now you might be saying to yourself, "Jen, isn't that what alcoholics do- carry their drinks around with them? I've seen this on Lifetime movies and very special episodes of sitcoms before." And to you I say, "Yes, some alcoholics do carry their flasks of alcohol with them. Some people who just like to drink do that." Especially ones who don't drive. And c'mon, they don't sell beer at the movies. And if they did, it would be a beer-like liquid and overpriced.
It was raining Friday, so I had an umbrella in addition to my two travel mugs: my new 75th Anniversary Jacob's Pillow mug and the mug I purchased during the "rest stop" portion of my amazing bus trip to DC a few weeks ago.
Its like this, except mine is plastic and has a lid for traveling (in)conveinence.
I'm holding the umbrella over my head with one hand and have a travel mug in my other hand. But where to put the second travel mug? Well, like all of the ladies here in New York and Hollywood starlets, I have a bag that could fit a unicorn or a dwarf-sized hobo inside. I have a lot of important junk I have to carry around with me: Blackberry, three kinds of lip goo (including the aforementioned American Girl Mango Tango), two pens, one Sharpie (for drunken fun), cigarette case (incidentally which, does not hold cigarettes but my id, Metrocard, and college id in cases of "with valid student ID"), the latest book I'm reading (Them by Francine du Plessix Gray), digital camera, iPod, a recent crumpled fortune I got from Chinese takeout (You will inherit a gold mine in Africa. [What?]), and hand sanitizer, of course. I needed an extra place to put this mug and I take assesment of my bag and think, "I can wedge this mug in the end if I arrange everything right. The lid is secure." And so I follow this plan of action.
And let me tell you: I made it approximately 4 steps before spilling half that mug of vodka all over myself and the entire contents of my bag, including my Blackberry.
Beloved Blackberry, giver of emails, schedules, and internet access, flickered and faded into its death about 10 hours later.
RIP, Blackberry 8700. November 2006 - August 2007.
To confirm that Blackberry was really dead, I went to the AT&T, formerly Cingular store, in Union Square. The helpful man looked at it and said, "Did it get wet?" To which I responded, "Well, I mean, it was raining last night. Actually, it drowned in vodka. [sad, shameful face]" He confirmed there was little hope for rescue, so it was then that I had to consider my options and quickly realized, BUY A NEW PHONE, because I'm not Hermione Granger and I can't conjure cell phones. Furthermore, if I WAS Hermione Granger, I wouldn't need a cell phone, I could just send my Patronus all over the land to send my messages.
Miss Granger, if you're nasty.
Truthfully, I really loved the idea of the Blackberry, but it felt too adult- too business suit- too much guy with shooter fingers.
Put a shirt on!
I took this CRISITUNITY! and realized that if I had to buy a new cell phone, I should go with something that was ME. I wanted less Blackberry, more phone. I wanted less business suit, more I'm creative person. But what phone could possibly fulfill all of my hopes, dreams, and desires without leaving me feeling dirty in the morning?
That's how I ended up with an iPhone. And also how I became Tom Cruise in Minority Report.
Its definitely the touch screen. Or the fact that I call it "my iPod Phone" like my granny would. Or its tiny size. Or its ability to summon unicorns. Or how it says, "I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do," like HAL 9000. Actually, that last part is a little weird, but hey! Its the future and we're all going to start using hoverboards and drive flying cars soon!
Except me. I don't drive. But I'll get my iPhone to drive for me.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Real beauty is watching out for friends.
Ahhhhhhh, don't you love fortune cookie wisdom? Except, the title of this post came from the lid of my Mango Tango American Girl $1 lip gloss. Its good enough to eat. Actually, that's all I'm eating these days- I'm on the American Girl Lip Gloss diet.
That's my $1 lip gloss gangsta face.
Presently, the episode of the Simpsons that starts with Tax Day, is on the television. It feels as though I've seen this episode a thousand times more than all the other episodes of the Simpsons. That's really all I have to say about that.
This week, I've been struggling to jump back into regular work-at-home schedule after my two week road trip. Let me also take this opportunity to say Thank you: KateHankMrHickmantheBusDriverMichelleTrevorErinWayneMomDadBethJaneGrannyLindaBillMattBrendaJenMarkScooterBradJAdbouAdrienneJamie and everyone else I encountered along the way. You guys collectively rock my world.
My friend Mark recently interviewed Marketa, the pretty lady from the movie, Once. When I saw this movie it blew me away, so I was amazed to hear that Marketa and Glen Hassard (of The Frames) are/were touring the US recently. Anyways, you can read Mark's interview with Marketa on his blog here.
That's my $1 lip gloss gangsta face.
Presently, the episode of the Simpsons that starts with Tax Day, is on the television. It feels as though I've seen this episode a thousand times more than all the other episodes of the Simpsons. That's really all I have to say about that.
This week, I've been struggling to jump back into regular work-at-home schedule after my two week road trip. Let me also take this opportunity to say Thank you: KateHankMrHickmantheBusDriverMichelleTrevorErinWayneMomDadBethJaneGrannyLindaBillMattBrendaJenMarkScooterBradJAdbouAdrienneJamie and everyone else I encountered along the way. You guys collectively rock my world.
My friend Mark recently interviewed Marketa, the pretty lady from the movie, Once. When I saw this movie it blew me away, so I was amazed to hear that Marketa and Glen Hassard (of The Frames) are/were touring the US recently. Anyways, you can read Mark's interview with Marketa on his blog here.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Its a random road trip.
The orange moon was so close I could have wrapped my arms around it and hugged it until the morning. I'm in the middle of a 2 week journey through so many places:
Washington DC (great weekend! who wants a Nintendo Wii? Jen does!)
Minneapolis, MN (don't worry, I'm okay- I wasn't near the bridge)
Menomonie, WI (work)
Rockford, IL (Friday - Tuesday)
Massachusetts (Tuesday - Sunday)
For now, I'm in northwestern Wisconsin enjoying the sexy wood paneling in my hotel room and the free cable plus movie channels. I've been workingworking crazy workaholic style lately which I love/hate-hate/love and staying up late watching random episodes of Big Love-Top Chef-So You Think You Can Dance-and now that most excellent of movies- AMERICAN PSYCHO. The scene where they compare their business cards is on right now- and hands down- my favorite of the movie. "It even has a watermark." I've been so busy with working that I've slacked off on making plans for this two week adventure- totally my fault. As you already knew, my communication recently has been been poor- at best.
Oh yeah. Christian Bale is giving his Huey Lewis and the News speech- and he's about to chop up Jared Leto. Until later, friends.
Washington DC (great weekend! who wants a Nintendo Wii? Jen does!)
Minneapolis, MN (don't worry, I'm okay- I wasn't near the bridge)
Menomonie, WI (work)
Rockford, IL (Friday - Tuesday)
Massachusetts (Tuesday - Sunday)
For now, I'm in northwestern Wisconsin enjoying the sexy wood paneling in my hotel room and the free cable plus movie channels. I've been workingworking crazy workaholic style lately which I love/hate-hate/love and staying up late watching random episodes of Big Love-Top Chef-So You Think You Can Dance-and now that most excellent of movies- AMERICAN PSYCHO. The scene where they compare their business cards is on right now- and hands down- my favorite of the movie. "It even has a watermark." I've been so busy with working that I've slacked off on making plans for this two week adventure- totally my fault. As you already knew, my communication recently has been been poor- at best.
Oh yeah. Christian Bale is giving his Huey Lewis and the News speech- and he's about to chop up Jared Leto. Until later, friends.
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