Waging a war...on my feet.

Last weekend, I traveled to New York, one of my favorite places on the planet, to see Nina, my Finnish lovaaah, whose dance company was performing in New York's premiere gayborhood, Chelsea, at the Joyce. I was excited about the beautiful weather and needing to satisfy my little piggys love of the outdoors, I thought I could get away with wearing some reasonable, peeptoe shoes. Basically, by Saturday night, I couldn't walk, I just scraped my feet along the sidewalk- scrrrrrrrrrrrape. Having a few peachtinis or whatever the dancing waiter served me, I thought, "No! I will not put up with sore feet and blistered toes! No! I will not lose this battle!" and so I took my shoes off and walked barefoot on the sidewalks of New York. Yes, I realize that by taking my shoes off and braving the sidewalks barefooted I was already losing the battle and Yes, it is entirely likely that I have the black plague or the avian flu in my feet by now. By Sunday, my feet looked like this:

The alleged shoes in question:

These tan leather peep toes came from the Ginormous Salvation Army in Springfield MA, which has become part of my weekend routine to visit. On a normal day, I find them delightful to wear, but trekking through the rough terrain of New York- I finally understand all those ladies who wear sneakers with their power suits to work. Ladies, I understand you, and I am one of you now.

These gold shoes were actually purchased at the Payless because the original offending pair of shoes were causing blisters on my feet. The gold ones, which I find gaudy yet lovable and entirely not something I would wear under normal circumstances, only worsened the problem, despite being flats and stretchy.

These plum peep toe Hush Puppies came from a vintage shop in the East Village from a woman who was perfecting a new style of singing I like to call, "Singing the two words of the song you know really well in a sliding-shouting crescendo". The vintage store owner woman has perfected the technique. But the shoes...

They are the sort of shoes that make a girl embody words like beautiful and sexy and every girl should have at least one pair of shoes that makes her feel those things. These shoes are divine. You know, not so great for traipsing around New York City when the L train isn't running, but a beauty to behold, no doubt.

In conclusion, don't wear uncomfortable shoes and expect to walk quickly or comfortably around New York. Even if they were comfortable for the five minutes you wore them at the store. I've been confined to flip flops all week like a college kid shuffling off to buffalo- I mean, shuffling off to class.