Oh my god. Singing banana man telegram. I don't want a birthday ever again.

Jeffrey: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
all-caps = all-good.
me: did you know about the singing fruit too?
Jeffrey: Adam just told me this morning. How was it???
me: oh my gawd. seriously. threw up in my mouth.
Jeffrey: hehehe
what did the fruit person sing?
me: some sort of banana man birthday song
and lots of cheezy jokes
Jeffrey: i'm throwing up a bit in my mouth.
me: and balloon hats and flowers.
Jeffrey: eek
me: and chorus kick lines. and then people from other offices started coming in to watch...
Jeffrey: hahaha
me: people who didn't know me but sang happy birthday
Jeffrey: what an awesome (read: horrifying) gift.
me: i feel very awkward right now.
Jeffrey: i'm sure!
me: i told everyone, "if any more singing fruit stops by, tell them i'm not here." and i've been hiding in my office ever since.
its a good thing adam's birthday is coming up, cause he's got it coming to him...
Jeffrey: no kidding. let me know if you need my help.
me: at the end of the banana man's song he had someone taking pictures and he said, "look into the camera and tell adam how much you love him"
and i waved my balloon sceptor and said, "i don't love you even a little bit right now"
Jeffrey: HAHA
me: and then i said, "i think i just threw up in my mouth"
All caught on digital camera which i'm hoping the banana man sends to adam.
Jeffrey: I'm glad I'm not you from earlier today. I don't think I would have handled that situation very well.
me: i'm not sure i handled it very well- i started running away
and i didn't participate very well in the kickline. in other news, the office dog gave me a sparkly unicorn figurine. until the banana man incident, i was playing with the unicorn at my desk all morning.
Jeffrey: So at that point, you're like JFK turning left by Dealey Plaza... everything's fine ("What a nice day!" and "Look at all these wonderful people!"), and then.....

tragedy.

me: i never knew what hit me. and the unicorn, like jackie o, was left to pick up the pieces of me off the floor.
Jeffrey: so sad.