The one where Jen makes fun of Tom Cruise and Scientology (again).

Last week has finally caught up with me. Guidelines for future social outings: Living in a college town does not mean you should drink like you're 19 again. To sum up a majority of the past week: Put down the drink, Jen. On the plus side, I did find a bar with a giant rhino head hanging on the wall, which is important to one's....uhhhh...drinking environment?

Most importantly of all: I spent the weekend in New York having a perfect time. Exhibit A:

The subway, it smells like pee.

So amongst all of the subway riding and other New Yorkiness that occurred, Adam and I had to endure the most taxing experience New York has to offer: transferring trains at the Times Square station. If you know me, you know that I will do anything to avoid Times Square. If you don't know me, now you know that about me. Good.

As we were passing through the station we saw folks holding signs advertising Free Stress Tests! Behind them sat a table. Do you see the irony? Times Square is the most stressful place on the entire planet (not hyperbole). For me, hell is similar to being forced to live out every day in Times Square. I digress...the irony is that they are holding signs for Free Stress Tests in the Most Stressful Place Of All Time.
The lady behind Adam is holding a Free Stress Test sign.

Oh right! The point of all of this besides the biting irony is that these people are Scientologists! This is how they lure you into their cult! Free stress tests and "oh we're here to help, have this Dianetics book..." A former roommate's mum was recruited to be a Scientologist and she said it was the most bizarre experience. They want your money and your soul to take on the spaceship...What the what?

*Public Service Announcement*
I'd like to take this moment to tell you all how fabulous it is to fly on JetBlue airlines. Wicked cheap! The tastiest snacks. Dunkin Donuts coffee. ANDandand! Your own personal tv where you can watch all the marathon of Project Runway on Bravo incluing all the past three episodes you've missed because you don't have cable.

*End PSA*

And now its Monday night and I've been awake for a gajillion hours now and I'm scrunched up with little Napkin lulupants and we're spooning and enjoying our night in after our week of binge drinking.

I really had so much more to talk about...the Statue of Liberty, why I am fascinated by the New York subway system, decorating tips, a short explanation of why Park Slope really is the fillet of the town, all the music that I can't stop listening to, and bars that play only Tom Waits and Nina Simone. For now, you will simply have to imagine what I might say about those subjects, but basically the general theme underlying it all: I <3 NY.