it was a passing fad...a private project that became quite public.

this place has been dying a pretty slow death for going on six months now. i find the chronicle of life in such a public manner fascinating and yet, completely intimidating at this juncture. there's too much going on in my world to attempt communicativeness about all of it. and at the same time, i know so many far away friends count on this to be the insight into the happenings in my life. i'm stuck right now, this place has become pretty sterile of thoughtful and funny commentary reflective of me.

as a person who writes daily, it has become increasingly difficult to come home and put more words to the screen. there have been days, months in my life where i had to write to keep from completely losing it. frantic scribbles across any scraps of paper i could find. and to a certain extent, i can still recreate the stimuli for creative bursts of inspired writing, but really when it becomes that formulaic, it also becomes pretty exhausted.

i'm not promising anything, i'm not not promising anything.

truthfully, i don't like not knowing who is out there in internet-land reading this and on the other hand, putting an IP tracker was one of the worst moves i could have made because i know who reads my words and it has changed the parts of my life i am willing to share here. more than anyone, i realize how incredibly lame that sounds, but also. i'm really happy with anonymity. i'm glad my friends come here, its all the non-friends that stop by that i'm not very comfortable with anymore. you're all saying, "jen when have you ever cared about what people think of you?" and you'd be correct. until i can get back to an un-self-censored place, this feels pretty empty as an exercise in writing.

my writing isn't what it used to be and furthermore, i don't have the time or energy these days. i'd rather focus what little energy i have left at the end of the day to write a personal email, make a phone call, write a postcard.

i'm not gone forever, but let's just call it a (momentary) hiatus, ok? i'm in need of reinvention, recentering.

xoxo,
jenny