i kept your picture, just behind the eye.

i have started dreaming (have nightmares) of all that lay ahead. working.working.working. its possible i put too much pressure on myself. its possible i'm so tired that my eyeballs squish when i blink and its very very real when i say i am so tired that i have been on the cusp of tears with every turn today. every little thing has the possibility to make me well up into a thousand sobs and fall to the floor. i just flossed my teeth and it too made me want to cry. i need to sleep it off.

sleep it off.

the fifth of march will mark six months in mountain standard time. five and a half months already and so much to say about the progression of my life. five and a half months and i've taken five hundred steps forward after the last few years felt like five hundred steps nowhere (not backwards, just stagnantly still steps.) five and one half months of mountains and waiting.

i'm ready for eastern standard time again. subway train cars. late night performances. friendsfriendsfriends. i'm pretty sure that's where i belong. i never have gotten used to the simpsons coming on at 7pm on sunday nights again.